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I guess I should make more of an update than that.

Sorry that last entry was kind of...depressing. I'm just kind of having a hard time with this deployment thing. He's been gone for almost 2 months. Miss...is inadequate. I long for him. I want to know he is okay. I just want him home. I miss my man. I know there are thousands of women all over the place who have done this and are doing this, and that helps. He is stationed at Camp Taji. Tea tells me thats where he wants to be. That it's one of the safer places in Iraq. That helped.

In other news, I have mono. I've had it since about the time that Danny left. I didn't realize it til a few weeks ago. I had been sick and was having afwul abdominal pain and I found out I had mono. I'm just now getting over another bout of it. I had the worst sore throat ever. I'm getting better. I haven't been able to work! I had just gotten hooked up with this job at Tomo Sushi. I worked there for 3 days and then I came down with it. I know they can't fire me, but they can't be happy with me. I also cannot drink alcohol til May. That sucks! Didn't I just turn 21??? It kind of blows.

I just really miss Danny. I've gotten some letters from him and that helps. I get an email from him almost everyday. I haven't heard from him in a few days now, but...I'm trying not worry. It's not easy to not worry. I just try to stay busy.

I miss you all. How is everyone doing? Please tell me whats up with all of you! Sorry I've been so absent!
I'm feeling very:
worried worried
I'm listening to:
"It won't be long" The Beatles
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Make me stop listening to the same, slow, depressing songs over and over. Danny is fine. Danny is fine. Danny is fine. Danny is fine. Danny is fine.

Make me go to sleep.

I hate this. I hate the not knowing. I hate waiting for an email to know that he's alive. I hate it.

Someone save me from myself. Make me stop taking baths. Make me stop thinking worst case scenarios. Make me stop thinking about what I would do if...MAKE ME STOP.


I'm listening to:
"Goodbye my lover" James Blunt
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If I still have any friends out there, I am doing well. I am still working for William Muhr, LLP, but I got a promotion. I am now the Building Manager and Marketing Director. It's an awesome job. It takes up sooo much of my time. One of the reasons why I'm never on here. I'm not allowed to get on here at work like I thought I would be able to. You guys have seriously got to add me on myspace. I am on there everyday. I don't blog everyday or anything like that, but definetly more than I do on here.

Anyway, Danny and I are still together. He leaves for Iraq in 6 days. We're going to stay together. We've talked about it a lot and have decided thats what we want to do.

My parents are doing well. My dad lost his job, but hes already in the process of finding a new one. And the pharmecutical industry is up and down so it wasn't like he did something lame and got fired. The company just downsized.

The other day was Thanksgiving. Danny and I went to my parents house. Funniest thing happened...my parents were going to show us pictures from their trip to Hawaii, and my dad plugged in the camera to the TV and started flipping through. Well...they weren't pictures from Hawaii...rather pictures of my mom sans clothing. It was mortifing. Danny has now seen my mother naked. It was afwul. And quite amusing.

Today, Danny and I went to see Mr. Mangorians Magic Emporium. It was awesome. Good movie. i love Dustin Hoffman. Then we drove around. We went to Jareds to look at jewelery and I almost cried over the beautiful diamonds they have there. :( Sigh. Someday.

How is everyone out there?? Please let me know your still alive! I really promise to try to get on here more often!!

I'm going to get in bed with my soldier boy while I still have him!!
I'm feeling very:
cold cold
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BUT MY LITTLE MALLORY IS ENGAGED!!! John proposed to her tonight!!! I'm soooo overwhelmingly happy for both of them!!! If you've been reading my journal long enough, you know all about Mal! I love her and I'm soo happy!!! It sucks I'm like 3 states away, but I am soo happy! I started crying at work when she told me!!

OH yeah I work at Old Chicago downtown now. It's kick ass. Come see me!!


I'm feeling very:
ecstatic ecstatic
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So my 21st birthday is tomorrow and I'm going to be at Coyote Ugly up in Denver! Everyone should come! If you need a place to crash afterwards, I'm staying at my parents house in Castle Rock and they have guest rooms, couches, air mattresses....and my mom says the more the merrier!!

Here are some directions to Coyote Ugly:
Directions: From I-25: Exit Colfax Ave. Cross Speer Blvd. and take the first left onto Welton St. Cross 15th St. to Denver Pavilions. The underground Parking Garage entrance is on the right; 800 spaces underground accessed via entrance on Welton Street, just north of 15th Street; 200 surface spaces, entered from Glenarm or 15th Streets.

I'm feeling very:
excited excited
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He broke up with her. I don't know where that leaves us. Very confusing.

Is anyone else kind of tired of the Spiderman 3/Pirates of the Carribean 3 hullabaloo? I enjoyed the first 2 movies in those triligies, but I really do think that the advertising and the hype has gone overboard.

I am also tired of snow. ITS MAY! WHY IS IT SNOWING IN MAY?? Grr. If it snows on my birthday...I'm going to be very upset.

I have my first final tomorrow. And I move in a week. Ahh. Things are starting to move very fast.

Does anyone know of any resturants that are hiring servers? I cannot seem to find a job anywhere!

Anyway, love to you all

I'm feeling very:
busy busy
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I'm in that weird place again where I just don't want to date anyone. I'm still involved with Blake. Kinda. I sleep there every night, but I don't know whats going on. He still is with his girlfriend. (Who is 17 by the way and a junior in high school) I did give him an ultimatium a while back saying he has till my birthday to break up with her. He is down to having 2 weeks before I walk out of his life forever. PLEASE don't judge me. Please don't. I'm getting it from everyone else. I'm very confused and not sure where this is going. He's moving back to TX in July. Maybe when he moves I can finally get closeure and move on for good. I've tried dating other guys, you guys know I have. It just....it doesn't work for some reason. I always just end up wanting to hanging out with Blake instead. I don't know. Blaah.

In other news, I have gotten my hair cut and colored. It looks soo much better than it did. Um what else. Siina and I are no longer friends because she totally screwed me over. And then she spread rumors about me at Cowboys. It stupid. I am almost 21 years old, am I ever going to get away from stupid high school drama?? I just want it to end. Finals are next week. I only have to take two! Yaay! May 14th I move in with Lauren and then May 18th is my 21st! Everyone should come to CO and go to the bar with me! I'm verrrrry excited!

Anyway, I dont have a whole lot to report. I'm really more on myspace these days rather than here, so if you have one and haven't already done so....add me!!

I'm feeling very:
frustrated frustrated
I'm listening to:
"Question" Old 97's
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I think I'm going over to the bad place.

17 days til my 21st.

I'm feeling very:
worried frantic
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So heres my situation:

I have to move out of my house on May 14th. Due to outstanding circumstances, the girl I was going to move in with can't so I need a roommate. I already have an apartment that I want to move to. It's a 2bed/1bath over at The Falls at Quail Lake. The total rent is $699/month plus utilities and cable. We would split the rent down the middle so it would be $350 a month for rent. The apartment is close to the Broadmoor and is on Quail Lake. Pets are allowed with a deposit. (But I'm allergic to cats) I'm waiting a day or two to see if anyone can move in with me before I reserve the apartment. I would really like to find someone and go sign the lease together. I have a ton of kitchen stuff and I'm aquiring furniture from different places. I just bought a washer and dryer yesterday so that will be in the apartment as well. If you know anyone that is looking for a roommate, PLEASE let me know! I'm not really looking to have a guy as a roommate though. Anyway, please help me out here!

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Life is never dull...

Soo I've been absent for awhile. A lot of stuff has been happening. School is starting its final leg. I'm ready for Summer. Actually, I'm just ready for May. Finals are done on May 10th. May 14th I'm moving, May 18th is my 21st birthday! And then I have to start working. I'm not excatly sure where just yet. I'm happy and sad to be moving all at once. I've had a good time living in a house with 4 roommates, 3 of them guys, and I'm sad that Bree has to move to Alaska, but I'm excited to move in with Siina. I went to the apartments today and showed my mom the 2bed/2bath. And she loved it. It's a bit pricy than what she had expected, but it'll be okay. I'm going to be working and I'll pay my own utilities this summer, so hopefully thatll help a bit. I'm soo ready for school to be done. I feel bad I missed my film class yesterday but it was snowing and since I just got my car back from wrecking it by sliding on ice....I'm not going anywhere in snowing conditions anytime soon.

Had a pretty good night tonight. Siina and I made some bad ass margaritas. We didn't get drunk though. I know what happens to me if i drink too much tequila....and it involves people having to hold my hair back. Not fun. But I sipped my margaritas and watched Good Will Hunting with Siina, Dave, Scott and Bree. And then Siina dyed my hair. I don't really want to talk about it. It will be fixed within 24 hours. I'm just trying not to think about it. Siina didn't fuck up or anything, the girl at Sallys messed up. She did NOT understand what I was saying I wanted. I'm going back tomorrow and getting my money back. And figuring out something to fix my hair.

Oh the dudes at Taco Bell messed up my order tonight. I was a little pissed. But it turned out okay. They fixed it and we got 4 chalupas for the price of 2 and we gave one to Scott. Scott fixed the hot water today! No more luke warm showers and having to flush the water just to make it hotter. (I'm so not kidding)

I. Am. So. Sick. Of. The. Damn. Snow. ITS APRIL!!!! ARRRRGHH

I've been talking to Blake a lot. I've been seeing Blake a lot lately. We're probably going to end up back together at some point in the future. Not the near future, but close by. It's so good to see him and be with him. I don't want to say anything else and jinx it.

Well, I am off to sleep. I'm very tired.

I love you all!

"Heres to our problems and heres to our fights, heres to our achings and heres to you having a good life"
I'm listening to:
"Good Life" Francis Dunnery
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